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Sometimes it's a choice

5/14/2013

 
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I often have couples ask me the quickest way to improve their relationship. They ask me jokingly not expecting an answer, but I always have one. The quickest way to improve your relationship is by making a choice. You can choose love, or you can choose to do what you've been doing and stay stuck.

You can choose to believe in your partner, believe in yourself, and believe that your relationship is worth fighting for, or you can do nothing (which doesn't usually go to well). But the truth of it is that often, especially in the beginning and middle there is a choice. Sometimes even towards what could be the end of a relationship there are choice moments, that can redefine everything, even make things better than you expected.

The thing that a lot of people don't realize is that even when they are not actively choosing love, that is a choice. It is a passive choice, but still a choice. It is placing something else above your relationship. Often the other choice is pride, fear, self-preservation, or laziness, but it is always a choice. 

So today, as you consider your relationship make the choice to be intentional. Make the choice to believe the best of your partner, and treat them in a way that reflects that. Make a choice to love, even when it is hard, and even when you are tired. And if you choose something other than love, make damn sure you know what your choosing. Then the new question becomes is it worth it? If not, make a different choice.


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