You know that moment when you pull up on the tub lever informing the shower system to stop pumping water out of the faucet and instead redirect it to the shower head? This morning I thought nothing of that very action, until a moment later when I had my head under the streaming shower head, and heard my dog barking. The barking triggered a reaction in me, instead of staying under the delightfully warm water, I turned the other lever and abruptly ended my shower before any lather, rinse and repeat could begin. 

You see just like I indicated to the shower that I wanted a shower and not a bath by pulling on that lever, my dog was telling me something. He was saying, "hey, I'm ready to poop now", and the part that made me feel a bit disgruntled was about the context. The inner voice in my head started screaming, "I need to leave in the next 30 minutes. We've already had a walk, and then while my breakfast was hot, you rang the bell, so we waited outside while you spun in your spot 3xs, and then decided, oh wait, I guess I'm not ready to poop yet". Given that it was 6:30 in the morning, I had already been outside with the dog 2xs, and now my hair was wet, and it is very cold outside...I was a little irritated. Wait lets get real here, I was pissed. 

Thankfully my husband also heard the bark, and came to our rescue, taking the dog outside, and sending me back to the shower. So why am I telling you all of this? Well, here's what I thought as I pulled up that lever a second time. Things change, they do, it's inevitable, and there is not always going to be someone who can rescue you from your own irritation. Our plans often don't work out. I've written before about how important it is to grieve lost dreams, or planned for hopes that will never be but I haven't talked about that momentary choice that needs to happen to rescue yourself. That choice to go on. To pull that internal lever, and tell yourself just one more time This will not beat me. I can get through this medical diagnosis, heart ache, child's tantrum, job loss, etc. Because in the moment action is still needed, and when I say action I really mean HOPE.  You can be that hope for yourself.

So today as you struggle with the unexpected hardship you face, take a moment and pull on your lever. Redirect your thoughts to hope and the possibility of good in your life. Yes, this is not what you expected or want, but  it doesn't have to beat you. Rescue yourself to whatever extent is possible at this time. Choose to go on.

Taking the smallest step in the right direction is still movement towards where you want to be, and many small steps can add up to a huge distance. But this isn't a "baby steps" post, this is about what to do after you've taken a small step.

Widen your gait. Meaning, great, you've taken a small step, now make it a tiny bit bigger than before and see how that feels. This may sound basic, but sometimes basic is what you need, and here is the plain and simple truth - repeated small successes make you feel more confident in taking on bigger things. It builds your history of success, which is a pretty awesome thing to do if you think about it.

So, how does this apply to real life and what am I really talking about here? Well, it depends on what you are working on. If you need to build back up your relationship with your partner, start small - set a timer for 1 minute, and talk (with respect and authenticity) to your partner for that minute, focusing on the positive and not allowing fighting to come into play. When the timer goes off and your temper hasn't, awesome. Chalk that up as success and tomorrow go for 2 minutes, or maybe even later that night go for 2 minutes. 

Or if you want to eat healthier - put 1 piece of a vegetable on your plate with 1 meal a day (i.e. broccoli). Then once you have eaten that meal and successfully eaten that one piece - praise yourself for eating a vegetable, and tomorrow see if  you could do two pieces of broccoli or 1 piece at 2 meals. Again praise yourself, and don't let the guilt voice take over about how you "should be eating healthier". Instead do the small, and see what you can start building into. 

Same thing with exercise. Start small by walking 1/2 a block one day, or for some of you this might even be too big (in that case modify it - like make a goal of walking your driveway). The next day see if you can go the whole block. Praise yourself for what you are doing that is different from the day before, and keep going adding a tiny bit more each day. Or if you know you should take the stairs but it still seems like too much, take the elevator to 1 floor below your floor, and then take the last flight of stairs the rest of the way up. I know it might seem a little silly but this is all about getting you used to success and the feel of doing things a little bit different and leading up to your desires for your life. 

You can do this, you are worth it. Start small, often we fail because we take on too much too quick, so instead ask yourself What is the smallest thing I could do today to move me towards my dreams...and then do it.